Joseph Asare Jnr

Genuinely people will pledge their life to you. Genuinely they will fail you when put to the real test. Don’t begrudge them; they are only human.

We have all been let down in one way or the other by our closest friends or blood family at one time or the another. For some, it has been more frequent than occasional. For others it has been more painful than bearable. Yet still for others, it has been a matter of betrayal of trust. Whatever it is, we have all had our share or brace yourself to have yours if you haven’t already.

Friends are said to be our escorts in life and our family are our estates. Our friends, especially our inner circles, and family always mean well – at least it is healthier to assume so. They want to share in your success when you succeed. Some are even willing to do anything at their own expense to make you succeed. Genuinely they want to be proud of you. In tough times they want to be there for you when you need them. In your lowest moments they want to kneel with you. When voices rise against you, they want to be the voice that calms you. When everyone turns away from you or against you, they want to be the ones that stick with you through it all. They pray for and with you. They counsel you – good or bad but they genuinely do it the only way they know how. Genuinely they mean well.

But then the tough times really come. It is tougher than any of you anticipated. Bad news after bad news. The media bash is deafening. The accusations seem convincing. Your credibility is under attack. Things known and unknown to you are brought against you. Everything seem to be crumbling down – the center cannot hold. You are losing your sanity. You no longer look forward to the next day. Sometimes its instant, sometimes it happens over time. Then you look around for friends and family – your escorts and estates. You need someone to lean on; a smile to reassure you that the world is really not turned upside down; a hand to hold and gently squeeze yours with the reassuring words that God is still in control – that God has still got you and have good plans for you; stronger knees other than yours to kneel with you and pray with you. Where are those who assured you that they will stick with you no matter what. Like Jesus’s disciples, majority have fled for their own lives and credibility. Like Peter, some in your inner circle have come a long way with you on this struggle but when things heated up and got murkier and hopeless they couldn’t stand with you anymore. They warmed themselves by the fireside with your accusers and detractors. Like Job’s three friends, some have stuck with you emotionally and silently sustained you. But as things worsened and God seemed silent, perhaps also overwhelmed, they broke their silence and began to judge you. They are convinced that there are indeed some truths in all that is out there and you have brought this upon yourself. You wish they had just kept silent because their words and actions now wears you out. Now indeed you feel alone.

In that state, you can’t help but feel betrayed, let down and lonely. Didn’t everyone say and indeed meant that they will stick with you in high and low times. Maybe they never vocalized it but at least their actions and what you all thought you had together suggested they were your closest escorts in life and did mean well. It is a terrible place to be but I have learnt it doesn’t make these people terrible. Fact is, they genuinely meant well and did not intentionally desert you. They are just not as strong as they thought they were. They have reached their elastic limits and some have snapped already. You are probably more elastic than they are and that is why you haven’t snapped yet – it’s hard not to take it to heart but don’t take it to heart. Don’t begrudge them – they just couldn’t help it. Look beyond them and you will see Jesus standing way beyond where your escorts could have ever taken you with opened arms to embrace and comfort you; a smile on his face ready to reassure you; stronger knees willing to kneel with you and intercede for you. When everyone turns away from you, turn to Jesus – He has always been waiting.