“the opposite of play is not work, it’s depression” – Stuart Brown
The world is getting ever so competitive and everything is moving in the fast lane. Commerce is more sophisticated and rapidly changing than ever before. Boardroom meetings are more frequent, and decisions are quicker and brutal. People work harder and faster yet longer. Workplace corridors and street pavements have all become highways with everyone in a hurry and many times breaking into short runs till they run out of breath. There is no time for chitchats on the walkways anymore and there is a higher risk of being knocked over on corporate corridors and pedestrian walkways than on the vehicular highways or train tracks. Everyone is about work from the time their alarm wakes them up from their short sleep till the time they sleep off from their long day. Living is now about working, anything else is idling.
Worthiness has become a function of productivity therefore things that are not related to the bottom line brings us anxiety and stress. Things like enough sleep, spending time with our spouse, going out for a walk/run, playing with kids, gardening, reading etc have become a waste of time. If it is not related to productivity at work or money, then it is not worth it.
Everyone is so busy speeding on the fast lane that this article about recalibrating and playing may not make any impact. At best if it is read, it will make some heads nod in agreement but nothing more. As soon as you turn away from this article, you will find yourself involuntarily on the speed lane that will threaten to crush you if you do not conform. But just like many other things I write about, this piece is as much for me as it is for any other reader. Until recently, my life was all about work, anything outside work was a distraction. Sleep was a compulsion hence I tried to keep it very short and the thought of play, was offensive. In my pursuit of meaning and self-worth; rest, recreation and play were not in the equation. I speak in the past tense as though I have completely changed but not so, though I have deliberately began taking small steps at making this change. I have come to the full realization and conviction that to live a life of meaning and contribution, I must become intentional about cultivating sleep, play and other interests outside work. I must let go of exhaustion, busyness and productivity as status symbols and measures of self-worth. I am impressing no one.
It is great to have dreams, goals, plans for where you want to go and what you want to experience. We should all have those. Never step into tomorrow without having thought about it, today. Build your imaginary life “penthouse” and keep it in focus. Work hard towards those aspirations. Frequently rehearse living in that penthouse and be fired up to keep working at it. But let that not rob you of fully living and valuing the life you have right now. Today is a gift from God so treat it as such. Do not take it for granted and look forward to the gift of tomorrow without being completely grateful for today and making the best of it. The God who will give you tomorrow and the beautiful dreams you have, also gave you today. In our determined pursuit of tomorrow, we trample on today in many ways forgetting that, once upon a time, today was the tomorrow we were looking forward to.
In living today, I beseech you, when someone is speaking to you, listen, really listen, with all your awareness. Avoid becoming absorbed in what you are going to say in reply. Give the person your full attention and be in the moment. If you are not interested in the conversation or you feel it is taking longer than you want, be politely upfront and save both of you. Do not disconnect emotionally until you have disconnected the conversation.
When you are with your kids, be with them. Be in their world fully and do not be in hurry to leave until it is time to leave. When you are in an important meeting at work, you hardly pick an incoming call, sometimes you switch off your phone. Are those moments more important than the moments with your kids? Think about it. Think about the investment you have made in them – the emotions and prayers invested when it took longer than you wished to conceive, then the difficult 9 months that followed, then the sleepless nights in their first few years, then the investment you have made and continue to make in their upbringing. Can anything else in this world be as worthy of your full attention as your kids? Does it occur to you that they love you more than anyone else in this world? Have you seen how they race to the door when you return from work? Has it occurred to you the excitement and pride that wells up in their heart when they hear of you or see you? Do you know that they will feel the most pain and hurt when something unfortunate happens to you – not the one on the other side of the phone line or colleagues at work or your business partner? Do you know that they will be the ones having to make time for you and care for you when you are well advanced in age, home ridden and your contemporaries have left this world ahead of you? That, they will give you the grandchildren that will play around you and amuse you?
When you are watching a movie or playing a game with your partner whom you love, stay tuned in. Don’t think of something else, someone else or somewhere else. Leave the phone and don’t multi-task with your social media feed – keep the rest of the world out.
When you take a stroll or drive around, be observant and take in your environment. Keep your focus on man-made and God-made nature. Keep your destination in focus but also enjoy the journey. Don’t be in a hurry. Occasionally, go spend some time with nature. Find the greens, the flowers, forests with shade, waterfall, the sea etc and enjoy what the Lord has freely given us. Hear the birds chirp, feel the cool breeze and get some fresh clean air into your lungs. The most expensive things are free. Depending on where you live, it might be harder due to urbanization, pollution or degradation but try to find something. I go to the forest farm once or twice a month to get close to nature.
When you do anything, including giving yourself to play and things outside of work, do it with everything you have. Do not live your life in fractions. Multi-tasking isn’t always good and constantly thinking of tomorrow, is unfair to you and everyone and everything else that require your full attention today.
But back to my fast-pace-workplace-lamentations. There is nothing wrong with focus on productivity and results. We must work hard and give our all to it whilst at work. We should actually earn our salary, add value at work and deliver results at all cost. I only lament the how. Indeed, when everyone is productive, no one works longer than required nor take work home. Stuart Brown, whom I quote at the beginning of this article conducted a research that shows play is not just joyful and energizing — it’s deeply involved with human development and intelligence. We are designed by nature to flourish through play.
So for workplace leaders, building play into your team can create engaging and inspiring meetings and team environment where everyone belongs and gets involved. In adding some reasonable level of play, you support your colleagues to build trust and psychological safety. Can we share energizing stories and create shared experiences by playing games? Can we encourage everyone to be truly absent from work when they are away from work? Can our team and individual chitchats also be about non-work stuff? We need to be a bit more intentional about play and allow it into our daily living. In playing, our burdens feel lighter and we are opened to new possibilities. It enhances our problem-solving skills.
So if you keep looking forward to tomorrow to make time for play or other people and for the things that are dear to you, then you are robbing yourself of today. You are stealing from the family who deserve your time, presence and care today. Right here, right now is where you are and where you should give and find joy, love, wonder, healing, connection, and so much more. Don’t miss it. Be fully present at work, fully present at play and fully engaged in all your other interests outside of work.
Watch out for the road signs as you journey through life. Observe the speed limits – don’t be too fast on the work lane else you will crush and don’t be too slow on the play and non-work lane else you will be ran over. Catch your breath at the traffic lights – Red means STOP and REFLECT; slow down at the intersections – it is your cue to change directions.
